December 11th. Late post. Reinvestment

Things will be different.

I am writing this post to the mind trapped in its fortress. I will be different. I cannot let it prison itself behind indifference to the work. I must advance. Even if I feel worry I must advance. I cannot sit back and let one drawing be the only statement. A statement that I have avoided trying to understand or unlock.

Things will be different. 

November 30, 2012 Not right now

No blog post right now. Got to work. Abstract needing to be extracted from my abstractions. Facing another pivot moment which is a glorious moment to have right before a review presentation. Not sure how much will be turned at the moment. I know there are nice things in what I've done but I believe some new rules/ideas/materials/objectives might be in order.

I'll create a new post Sunday or Monday that showcases my work and ideas for the future.

In the mean time this stupid debate came up again. I'll use the term stupid here because on both sides it seems to encourage a level of zeal that blinds many from seeing eye to eye or attempt to understand the other side or experience it themselves. Its... A debate I might a moment to address at a later time. But for now I think the short answer is "ignorance blinds." And that is a stamp that I could apply to many reactionary shouts on both sides.

http://kotaku.com/5964751/this-art-critic-thinks-video-games-have-no-place-in-the-museum-of-modern-art?post=54767310

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/jonathanjonesblog/2012/nov/30/moma-video-games-art

the funny moment that comes out of this is someones argument that art is insane by referencing our latest penny stamps speaker. Janine Antoni. I think the insult tossed around there was "art snobs" which I suppose could be set against the terms the critic from the guardian suggested such as Gamebollocks.

(Can't we all get along?)

November 17, 2012. Becoming a habit?

Another late post and another early morning writing?
I hope it's not gonna become a habit.
Anyways before I talk about what I hope to have for the December review. Let me just get these images out of the way.

All here? cool. Been playing around a bit so that's my excuse for a later blog post. These are just three of several combining attempts. I picked these three for display because they all have some element of interest that I would like to refine for a finished image.
For the review I really hope I can produce and be able to display some images that are refined on a technical level. Having loose sketches around my studio space has been fun. But what would be really nice is to have a couple images that I can use as a benchmark for the rest of the project. This is a journey of scenes and if I can't show my panel that the scenes are real..well..That would be disappointing.
 I think that sums things up so back to work I guess?

( This writer is alright but can we have the guy who wrote longer press releases back? He sounded like he had something more involving to say.)

November 11 2012. Got nothing

Got nothing much to say.
Slowed down. Played more.
Rubber bands and bundled string make interesting brushes to use with Sumie ink.

Should be making more intentional images then I am.
Should at the same time avoid copying Yoji shinkawa's art style because that's just something you shouldn't do.
Should have made a better grant proposal. Of course I missed some minor details that I caught after the fact.
Should contact every IP student who is making a book for their final piece and should have us band together to create a special setting/show platform for our work. That way we can display or stuff proudly in one of the art galleries without having it be overlooked. Got this idea after learning that Colleen is heading down a parallel route as myself. Including similar current issues.

Shouldn't continue to post blog posts without images.
So I didn't

Shouldn't write this blog entry at 1:25 in the morning.
Help others to help ourselves. 
Goodnight.
(the mind shuts down and the vessel is thankful for a moments rest)
 

November 2, 2012 put your feet up and comptemplate

Work slowed down this week so I could reflect on what I have done and will do. This means of course that there have been less energetic waves of action but a silent lake allows one to understand the full effect of a single dropped stone.  (what is the stone in this case? I'm not sure. I just wanted to complete the image)
This Grant and group critiques are like a rainstorm catching the traveler on the pilgrimage. Forcing you to seek shelter from an empty structure and spend time meditating. 
...I was planning on talking about artists like Yoshitaka Amano and Yoji Shinkawa this week. About Ashley Wood and world war robot. Amano and Shinkawa being two artists I am once again intently observing due to the materials I currently explore... But that's not the important thing of this week..

I've said this week that my project is about taking the participant on a journey through something. And that will remain true..But to walk without reason is wandering. To plan every step is tourism..

 I think I don't have a good reason why someone should take this journey. The grant has gotten to be a sticky issue as I continue to work on it. How do I ask for money when I cannot really speak towards the importance of it? 
I believe I touched on a important distinction this week when contemplating Maureen's desire to enshrine meaningful moments people have with certain fabrics. I saw the quilt she envisioned as the container. The binding of a memory book. Her role was to create the framework to capture and expose these individual moments in a unique fashion. The quilt is not the work itself but the canvas holding anothers expressionistic oils...     I believe that the journey I promote may be a similar structure. A device that will allow me to rest some thought or desire upon. I feel that I have been building a scaffolding of bamboo around an empty shell. Scaffolding has it purpose and everything I have worked on so far will carry me to the end. But now its time to sit down and contemplate what it is I am building towards. What direction I should travel.. Even if I am simply walking towards the warmth of a distant fire it is a direction of intent.

I don't know if I am using the proper language to explain my thoughts on this matter. I was accused not so long ago by a friend that I wrap myself in metaphors and make strange/clouded arguments by doing so. This blog post really is to just continue my personal reflection on what road to take next.   

I hopefully will be able to arrange a small but intended journey for next weeks critiques.
I also feel a desire to write some fragmented poems or moments to complement it.

(A clouded head is a wonderful puzzle. You can squeeze and grasp the edges of the aether before you, but the golden center with its crystalline glow still denies you the nirvana that drives your thoughts pursuit. pressing hands into something weighted yet yielding so you may touch enlightenment.)
((needs a rewrite but that image might be something. but really now don't get food poison cause its not as glamorous as I make it out to be. I haven't painted a clear picture here and instead have used only the ghost of a watercolor frame))

October 26th 2012. Abstract yoga bends.

Work achieved

Even more sketches (including a very weird elephant. Don't have an idea where that came from..its not like Ganesha was a recent topic.)

Started to play around with some of the abstract pieces in Photoshop. I think this might become a parallel collection. 

This one isn't really changed that much..but I'm wondering how it would look printed large scale or redrawn in white conte.

 two quick things. far right could be painted into a gnarled tree I guess. The other one is here just cause I like what happened to the background.
Otherwise..ehh.
Not quite feeling these. But just started and it really wasn't that much of an investment.


Anyways I really enjoyed the yoga break. I said it there but it really was a fun chance to change pace and play creatively. I've always wondered why the school doesn't push for more collaborative moments. (to be clear I'm talking about finished works by group effort. Not individual works that have received a peers eye and advice.) At any rate I wouldn't mind having another such session in the 2nd semester to relieve what will no doubt be a stressful period.
 The project moves forward.

Next week I'll take some time and talk about other artists and what they do that interests me. I will also continue to use sumie ink but also branch out into other mediums to help take certain potential images to the next stage.   

oh and to a certain someones previous question. Ran, Kagemusha and in my opinion "the best film ever made"- Seven Samurai.

And on a side note Count Orlok and the live organ are the only things I can recommend people should go to Nosferatu for. They are the two elements that still remain strong after all this time. 

("Write something bad, something awful that you would never want to show to anyone. That's your challenge for the day. Start there. Tomorrow, do it again." - Jonathan Coulton on solving writers block.)

 

October 18th 2012 -- Pix plz?

alright so this feels like there's really not that much to say this week. While I didn't really do as many sketches as last time (and yes I did more than just those few images last time. The wall shall be filled I tell you!) I now have a new favorite sketch come out of the break. I just...Can't show you it right now cause its locked away on my PC right now..The same PC whose mouse decided to finally squeak no longer and whose replacement is still on its way from amazon. But anyways.. the Sketch has some nice depth to it and I'll upload a copy when I can.

I'm just gonna use this space instead to say that the power city performance of  Ionesco's "Rhinoceros" was  wonderful. The football game made me feel sorry for Illinois fans who made the trip up to the rain soaked blow out.  And watching Kurosawa films back to back provides for a full but satisfying evening.

Next week will likely involve a similar brief blog posting. But with photographs.

(K thx bye) 

Oct-10-2012 Late post is late

Do I feel like I've been putting in the work hours this time? Yes. Do I feel like the time I've spent loosely sketching ideas has moved my project forward? Yes. Do I know what this direction will culminate in? Not yet...and I'm cool with that.

Breaking myself away from previous ideas just to sketch and explore in a wild abandon has been above all fun. Starting to sketch without an idea in my head as to what I'm creating and have something apparate a short period of time has been great. I do not know where these individual ideas will transect. Nor do I know when they will do so. For now my goal is to simply continue in this direction and have the pieces answer for me. I have to thank Cogswell for giving me the small push needed to venture into this process. With time I hope we both can be proud of the result. Whatever it may be and become.


(your gonna need a lot more pins...)

Friday 5th of October. Oh for @*!& sake!

Work achieved
Sketches branching into high fantasy, more colony ship setting, etc.

Created a new story introduction.
Focused on the idea of Chop Suey
 
........Failed to take photos of the sketches that now hang on my walls for this blog entry AND now only have a physical copy of my introduction to the chop suey graphic novel. 

Did not achieve 12 hours of extra work outside of class. Pretty sure of this.

Le sigh- This week could have gone better. Being sick didn't help. Having my computer delete my copy of chop suey doesn't help. Not having images of my sketches doesn't help...And this was the week that caused me to abandon the video game... Board games are still in but my focus isn't on that. This absurdest graphic novel which should give me both a narrative and artistic freedom to toss in whatever I find interesting in the moment is.

Here let me instead post what passes for a proposal draft for chop suey instead.

Patrick Holloway
Proposal v0.1
(subject matter is…subject to sudden changes at a moments notice)

Hello and welcome! You will soon be holding in your hands a copy of
“Chop Suey- the graphic novel”
Chop Suey is an illustrated adventure through the bizarre, ironic, and amusing tales
of the recently departed. It begins with someone unfortunate enough to board and
depart Charon’s riverboat. Being swept along by various circumstances he finally
arrives at The Last Table. An absurdly large open aired food cart run by Death itself!
My intention is to sweep the reader along through the personal musings and stories
of Deaths patrons. I believe it will provide me a wonderful framework to twist the
story to whatever suits my current taste. By framing my story as the final meal at
the end of life I can touch on countless themes, be it regret, true wisdom, the things
that bring us together and, of course death.
And the entire thing will be strange! I plan to leverage and splice together many
bizarre elements that I have been exposed to. Chop Suey is a dish made out of the
combination of various leftovers a chef has towards the end of a shift. Much like
that dish, I will be leveraging many interests of mine and hopefully serve something
wonderful from the concoction. Where else will you find a fully armored samurai
sitting down and delicately enjoy a crème brulee?
The core framework of Chop Suey comes from my personal travels. Let explain
using my most recent and expansive. Chop Suey owes its heart to Shanghai.
Having spent 8 weeks in china I couldn’t help but be influenced by the life I lived
in Shanghai. I met and befriended strangers with unique stories and lives. Unique
lives such as Jeremiah Kiplagat of Kenya to “bubble” from Datong, China. I ventured
forth and explored the night markets and their tantalizing food vendors. Savoring
everything from the wonderful kebabs to an adventurous experience with a
scorpion. This idea of arriving someplace and sharing in these little moments is
a wonderful one. I think this project needs to be executed simply because of the
moments I experienced and the stories that are born from them. I feel that they have
a weight to them that can help broaden your view of the world at large. Toss in the
absurd humor death would surely bring to the experience and there you have it.
Of course I cannot have death be a character in my novel without 1 st paying tribute
to the wonderful author Terry Pratchett and the wonderfully strange and classic
film the Seventh Seal by Ingmar Bergman. Bergman created a personification of
death that was a present character in the film. Death proved to have a dark sense of
humor, was crafty and imposing without motion. (He was also a master of chess!)
This was a movie that broke the mold and made death someone who could be
spoken with. To be pleaded with. To say things needed to be said in the narrative
from a unique perspective. Death in the seventh seal was so much more alive
than just a skull in a cloak that reaps a lot. Terry Pratchett in turn took the death
personified from Bergman and made him absolutely hilarious. He also made
death the hero of the diskworld. Death did his job but was such an understanding
character that you can’t help but support him as he does his job. So I undoubtedly
will owe Pratchett a paycheck or at least a heart felt thanks for his interpretation of
ends specter.
But that is a worry for another day. And while any fan of the diskworld novels will
likely enjoy what I am attempting to create. It is designed to be open to anyone who
enjoys the absurd and the poignant. May you soon dig in and enjoy.

("Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure - that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets"-Queen)

Friday 28th september. In the crossroads..

Work achieved

abstract and more grounded sketches for settings, moods.
Began to novelize the story to take a look at it from a new angle
Research into alternate mediums

Honestly not a good week of progress. Spent a good portion wading in the water after setting my boat on fire. I am pretty close to killing my project as it stands and starting again with clearer and smaller goals. And yet I'm still attached to my idea so I can't just give it up yet.


an excerpt from my writings. (yes its a dark introduction into the setting)

His body was cold. Being exposed to the vacuum of space for 74 years does that to a corpse. I wasn’t concerned about him being dead. Nor was I concerned about the re-bar that pierced him to the exterior of the satellite. I am very much aware of the potential acceleration that can be granted to objects using a suits traversal jet. No, what concerned me was that he was out here in the first place.

 After finishing a slow orbit around the scene below me, I snapped my finger sending an electrical signal through the organ rope that would cause it to contract. Landing like a cat would returning from a tree to soil, My hands worked automatically working the release and return of the rope to my wrist using my right while signing for magnetic soles to activate with my left. The satellite shifted below me from the contact, a long dormant flame ignited to life. Tiny bursts of energy slowly correcting the disturbance I had caused it. The body did not move. Too ridged with deaths chill to greet my arrival. I saw my reflection within the cracked glass covering his face. An emotionless eye peeked through the crack and fell upon my grey form. He never blinked even while I produced a battery operated saw from a hidden pouch and advanced upon him. I began to sever his right hand away from his frozen form. I could feel the vibrations of the saw grind their way up my arm as I worked. In a few short minutes the hand finally disconnected itself and started to drift with purpose. As if it was trying to flee from the body that had held it captive for so long. I didn’t let it get too far. 

so yeah.. its something.. but I'm not sure if its the setting I will keep. My other sketches speak of another setting. The ship designs below being ambiguous enough to fit wherever I decide to place them.

 

It would be fun to go back and just redraw these and flesh out some more of the details

 

 To me these other sketches are of some foreign world. It looks interesting but I'm not sure what narrative I would tie together with them.

                                                                        Tribal huts?


Right now I have to decide if I really want to hold myself to an interactive movie. Or do I want to jump into a new medium or change how the player will interact with the game. I'm currently at a cross roads. Honestly given my level of progress so far an animated adventure might simply be too much to handle...Well we will see how it advances.

(You ever try to glue together something you threw through a wood chipper? My thoughts are in need of gorilla glue...)

Friday 21st September. Figure it out.

Work achieved

Physical work-not enough done.  2 hours of loose sketches

Some time spent writing plot elements but until I storyboard it…it’s not really resolved.

Investigative work done- plenty but still left with some necessary choices unresolved.

This Time I decided I should talk in brief about a few (relatively recent) games that are interesting pieces from the wealth of 54 years of creation.  But before that would you like to see the 1^st? Here it is.

                                       (tennis for two, reproduction for the 25th anniversary)

Tennis for two

Created by a nuclear physicist named William Higinbotham. The game Tennis for two was created because  “it might liven up the place to have a game that people could play, and which would convey the message that our scientific endeavors have relevance for society."-Higinbotham

Tennis for two is the most basic of games from a design standpoint. Two players attempt to score points against one another using a simple controller. It’s quite interesting to see and compare this game with the later and far more famous game pong. I honestly find tennis for two to be far more interesting. The blue streak of the ball as it obeys gravity vs the single white dot of pong…

But I mentioned that I was going to talk about more recent artistic endeavors. Not spend time referring to esteemed creations from video games birth. 

                                            (Thirty Flights of Loving, Blendo games,PC)

So let us instead jump to a game that came out this year. Thirty flights of loving is a short narrative piece (it’s at the most only 20 minutes long) The game leaves much of the story details to the participant to fill in afterwards. The game railroads you through its narrative but because it’s set to such a rapid pace you don’t mind it. The game is wacky, colorful and a good study in the power of good jump cuts. Starting from entering through a hidden wall in a bar to in the end wandering around an art gallery opening that is celebrating the car crash that killed you. 

                                                  (Dear Esther, The Chinese Room, PC)

Moving onto another piece of participatory fiction: Dear Esther is just like thirty flights is based around you walking through the set pieces of the story. Set on an island which may or may not really exist. You as an unnamed party explore and wander over and round streams, crags, caves and the ruins of several beached ships and abandoned abodes. As you progress in your wanderings, A narrator reads letters from various perspectives. The entire experience is centered on exploring: Not only the physical environment but also the events hidden under the letters contents. This game is to be again internalized by the participant. This will again appear in the following games.      

                                                          (Yume Nikki, Kikiyama, PC)

Yume Nikki (translated it means dream diary) was created and released by independent Japanese game developer Kikiyama in 2005. As a freeware cult game, Yume nikki garnered a bit of attention for being made in an engine usually intended to be used in the creation of role playing games. The goal in yume nikki is to gather every item/power in the game then use them to seal the doors of the girls dream world.  But that is only if you wish to see the (disproportionally dark) ending. The real goal is to wander and try to absorb and make sense of what you are seeing. From monstrously large heads who upon eating you lead you to another area entirely, bizarre architecture littering otherwise completely black worlds, drawings that a child would make roaming freely. Meeting fishermen and piano players alike while crashing onto mars… Then there is the girl herself. Locked? In a room where her only actions are to play a video game and sleep (leading to the dream world and all of its creepy-pasta nature. Why won’t she leave? Why does she have to collect powers such as removing all facial features, meet and become a yuki onna (snow wraith) that summons snow? I may bring this game up again later when I talk about the players importance in everything. But that is for another night. 

                                     (LSD, OutSide Directors Company, Sony PlayStation)

LSD dream emulator (The L,S,D stand for hundreds of titles for the game. Such as linking the sapient dream.) The content of the game is based off of the creators dream journal that he kept for several years. The goal is to explore 365 dreams that are created by how you play. Slowly as you progress things continue to get stranger and darker. If you touch an object in the game it will transport you to a new environment. Seemingly random from beginning to end, the events in game may have some meaning but it is so obscure and opaque to be rendered meaningless...But that’s also a conversation for another week.  

                                  (The Stanley Parable, Davey Wreden, Half life 2 mod, PC)

And finally we have The Stanley Parable. Perhaps the best short work of interactive meta fiction I know of. The game starts of explaining how “Stanley” (and perhaps by association the player) enjoys being told to hit buttons in certain ways. (like most video games seem to) Then the player is allowed to move. Walking down hallways and hearing the narrator explain what is going on and which direction Stanley will take when given a choice. And then the choice itself appears. And then you can ignore what the narrator already explained would happen… This leads to varied endings and fights with the narrator. Do you choose to follow his every predetermined step? Ignore everything the narrator tells you? Obey some and resist others? The piece is a wonderful work of participatory art. The act of control becoming the key element of discussion raised within the work. Fully Self-aware, It is undoubtedly my favorite piece out of this small set of games I have outlined.

Next week I will likely talk about the players’ role in the game and how I will involve them within my own work. This will of course require a complete draft of my game sitting/ pinned to my walls. So stay tuned.

(He writes a thousand words on games, including this…)

Friday the 14th: Growing pains

Time table

I…didn’t really keep track of minutes spent. So with that said. I spent maybe 7 hours researching and going through engine/code tutorials so I knew if I could be comfortable using the renpy engine. 1 hour spent tempting a few friends into lending their skills and ideas to the project. And the rest of my time having philosophy debates in my head about various game mechanics, story beats, visual moments and goals…All of which I have not written down… so recapping

7 hours learning a new system/researching various topics.

1 hour recruitment and idea brainstorm

??? (far more than 4) hours spent dreaming and self debate.

Yeah this isn’t a great blog post. Would really like to sit down and explain my points better but since this post is already late…yeah..

The major accomplishment of this week was picking and using the RenPy engine. A deceptively strong tool for making the game I want to make. I picked it because after playing several games made with the tool I knew it could handle my ideas for the project. The other great thing about this engine is that programming will be mostly painless. I don’t have a programmers mindset. Something that in the past has made me wary on taking on these types of projects. But RenPy has solved this with its use of python and being backed up with simple to understand tutorials.

In the future I will…Make better blog posts. Honestly I dislike having to force all three of these elements together. It makes me write stagnate pieces of writing and honestly…not all three of these things are of equal value to the writer or the reader. Later I will want to go in depth discussing certain inspirations and having to lead it with hours spent on X Y and Zed will only detract. Anyways because I’m already just planning the better blog post now and no longer care about this one…I present the bullet points

.better blog post

.a working draft of the story

.a working alpha of the game

(me thinks he doth protest too much)